Course Takeaways

I got a lot out of this course and I would recommend it to anyone. I grew emotionally a lot from this class. I am a recovering drug addict and this class taught me a lot on how to deal with my addiction. The number one thing I got out of this class is how to be a good listener. Before this class I always thought I was a pretty good listener, boy was I wrong, I was not even close. There is a big difference in hearing someone speak and listening to someone speak. I learned that body language plays a big part in it. My communicating skills have improved a lot. I also learned how to resolve conflicts that right way and I plan on to keep using these skills the rest of my life. I never knew there was a correct way to argue. I thought I was just suppose to yell and scream until I was tired of yelling and that was the end of it. This class humbled me, and it caused me to do a lot of soul searching and self-discovery. It's funny because I treated this class almost like a hour long, twice a week therapy session, the only thing lacking was a couch for me to lay on. There was so many things I learned about myself from the activities I did in the work book, especially the ones where there was like 15 to twenty statements or questions and I would have to answer yes or no, or on a scale how much I agreed with it. At the end of the exercise there would be a scoring technique and depending on the exercise it would ask how many times did you say this or how may times did you mark false. Then there was a scale and depending on which exercise a score of 1-8 meant something and 9-14 meant something else and 15-20 meant something else as well. In a lot of these scoring exercises they were pretty much on point in what score represented about myself, a lot of times it shocked me as well. I would sit there and say to myself wow how do they do that and know that about me, and in some cases I would get mad, but like the old saying states "sometimes the truth hurts." But anyway in all I really enjoyed this class and looked forward to going to it every week and seeing how what my life has instore for me with these new ideas I have learned from this class. The name of this course fits it perfectly.

Personal Journal 9.4

Most of the conflicts I have in the home environment which would be a conflict with either my parents or my girlfriend are usually dealing with emotions more than anything else. My girlfriend and I have had conflicts over our baby that will be here in about 4 and half more months. She gets frustrated and wonders how we are going to pull it off and be able to support ourselves and the new baby. The good thing is our disagreements are civil. We sent down and talk it out, we do not yell at each other and we do not get angry with each other. I use a lot of the tools I learned in the book "Everybody Wins" by Gary Chapman which is my term paper book for this class. We are on the ssme page now, because we sat down and talked it out and came to an agreement. We are taking it one day at a time. We know it is not going to be easy and especially at first. But I told her I am going to make every sacrifice possible to help us raise this child and she knows that she has to also. That made her very happy. The conflict I have had with my parents is pretty much the same thing or at least in the same category. They have told me that we are not ready yet and that it is going to be very hard for us to raise our child, but now they are supporting us. I worked this conflict out by showing them in the past four months that I am going to be a good dad, that I have done a lot of growing up here recently. I have told them that this is the most important thing to me and that I love Jill and we are going to get married. They believe me and are on board with us now because they have seen all the changes I have made in my life for the better in the past few months. That is how a lot of conflicts get worked out is by actions. The old saying "you got to walk the walk if you are going to talk the talk," which pretty much means I got to back up everything I am saying. I was in a conflict at school in some group work we were doing outside of class one day. It waa in my physical geography class, there was four of us working on our lab manual. We could not agree on some of the answers for this lab manual, we were not throwing blows or anything just a disagreement. So, what we did to resolve it was first we all just took a step back and took a ten minute break. Then when we came back to get to work we mapped out a game plan. In this class we can turn in one lab manual and put all of our names on it and we all receive the same grade. We broke it up into four parts and then when we were finished we checked all of our answers and we said if there was a problem that we could not agree on an answer for that we were going to leave the answer that was on there from who ever worked on that problem. If it ended up marked wrong that we had to live with it. I have realized that the bigger the group a lot of times the harder it is to come to an agreement on a conflict, but in the end whether it is a group of two or a group of thirty-two if I want to come to an agreement on something I have to be civil about it and listen to all the parties involved.

Term Paper Blog #4

The tools and informattion I have learned from this book is an ongoing process. The main concept in this book is to teach a person how to resolve a conflict with your spouse or anyone for that matter without arguing. It has shown me to listen not just hear what the other person is saying but truthfully listen. I still make mistakes I have caught myself trying to fire back at the other person before they are finished talking. But that is the key, that I am able to catch myself and make those certain adjustments where it doesn't happen again. This book has shown me that I do not have to agree with the person I am having a dispute with but to take in what they are saying and come up with a compramise. I intend to use these techniques the rest of my life and I would recommend this book to anyone. I have learned a lot from "Everybody Wins" by Gary Chapman.

Personal Journal 8.3 "How Do You See Your Money?"

Money to me is a necessary evil. It is what makes the world go around, I must have it but it can cause some people in general to act funny when it comes to money. My financial goal is to first get out of debt and get my credit score up where I can be stable. Since I have a baby on the way I want to be able to provide for my girlfriend and the new baby. If I had a 100 dollar bill in my wallet I would put 60 dollars of it in my checking account, twenty dollars of it in my savings account and the last twenty in my wallet. When I think about paying bills I feel anxiety. One thing I don't understand about money is how to budget it. I do an okay job at it but there's room for improvement. Planning for retirement is very important to me it is something I want to get an early start on. I worry about not having enough money for bills when the baby comes in 5 months since I am still in school and have not started my career yet. I have job now but when the baby comes it is a whole new ball game when it comes to money. Really the only thing money helps me enjoy is when I get my girlfriend something and see the smile on her face. I do not need money to enjoy the company of my parents and my girlfriend.

Term Paper Blog Entry #3

I love the book I chose, "Everybody Wins" by Gary Chapman. I really have learned a lot from this book. It is a short book only around a hundred pages, so I have read all of the book. This book has showed me to be patient when I am having a disagreement with someone or just talking about something important with someone. I never really realized this but in the past when I would be talking with someone I was not truly listening to them. I would be thinking more about how I was going to respond more than taking in what the other person was saying and a lot of times I would even interupt them. The other night my parents and I were having a serious talk about the new baby that is coming into my life. My dad was telling me some changes that I need to make and things like that. I really listened to him took everything in that he was saying. I showed him respect in the sense that I repeated in a broad sense the topics he and my mom brought up, so they knew I was listening. My progress is actually going faster than I expected. It seems that I am sincerely using these tools from this book in my life. I believe that ever since I found out that I am going to be a dad I look at things in my life different anyway. I have not had any setbacks yet. I am sure I will though somewhere in this process because that happens. The important thing is though that I catch the setback when it happens and grow from it. Even though I am picking some of the things in this book and using them in my life a little faster than I thought, it doesn't seem really harder or easier than I expected.

Personal Journal 7.1

I have to work hard on my resume because I want to get a lot of interviews because I have chosen a career that I love. I am out getting a lot of references because networking is a great skill to have and I am going to put it on my resume. It is a numbers game so I am out applying for a lot of jobs to increase my odds of getting a job in this career that I love. I am going to practice interview techniques because practice makes perfect. I am going to follow up on every interview because I am ready to work hard in this field and I want this job to support my family.

Personal Journal 6.4

A major decision I have coming up in my life here in a few months is trying to figure out whether or not Jill and I are going to keep our baby or give it up for adoption. Option one we keep the baby, it would support my goal of always wanting to be a dad. The value it would support is I would always put my kid on top and make me realize that it is not just all about me anymore. If we gave the kid up for adoption it would be to Jill's older sister. A goal it would support would be is my kid would getting a mom that can not have kids. The value it would support is it would make me feel good about myself and it would an unselfish act. The goals that would contradict this decision of keeping my child is it I might not be able to provide for child. If I do not watch my school academics closing my grades could drop. The values it could contradict in keeping my child is that my baby would be born out of wedlock. If we decide to give our baby up for adoption it would contradict my goal of wanting to be a father. It also would contradict my value of taking responsibility. The option i would choose is to keep my baby so I do not have any regrets.

Personal Journal 6.2

My biggest impulse is spending money, this is a big problem for me because it is usually money I do not even have to spend. When I buy concert tickets to go see a band I love the pleasurable short-term consequences are I get to go out and have fun with my friend and get to enjoy seeing this band play music live and in person. The negative long-term consequences are it takes time away from my family and my girl friend. It also puts a hole in my wallet because I spend more money at the concert on top of buying the tickets. I have loans I have to pay back and bills I have to pay as well. It can be a bad environment for me because their are a lot of drugs and alcohol at these concerts and I am a recovering drug addict. One of my goals is stay sober and concerts are a trigger for me. I have always liked instint gradifaction, if I want something I wanted it yesterday. It is not worth it a couple of hours of fun can end up changing my whole life. So finally the negative long-term consequences for sure outweigh the positive short-term consequences, it is just not worth it. Next time I start to act on an impulse I will pick up a phone and call my AA sponser and talk to him about it. My girlfriend is a good accountability partner to talk to about my actions.

Personal Journal 5.3

My first irrational belief is I must succeed at everything. I rationalize that belief into I will try to be succeed but in my failures I will learn from my mistakes. My second irrational belief is I should always put other people's needs first. I rationalize that belief into I will help other people's needs if I am able to. My third irrational belief is I can't do anything about my bad habbits they're stronger than me. This is a big one for me. I rationalize this belief into I can work on my bad habbits and with a support group and help I can overcome them. My fourth and last irrational belief is if people do something I don't like, they must be punished. I rationalize this belief into nobody is perfect I also make mistakes and there are different levels of mistakes.

Personal Journal 5.1

Today I am grateful to have my freedom, I was locked up for two years in a state prison, so I am very grateful to be able enjoy my freedom. I am grateful to have a family and a girlfriend that love me and are very supportive of me. I am grateful that I am sober today. I did really well on my ncaa college basketball tournament bracket that I filled out in a contest on espn.com. I got to enjoy this awesome weather we are having today. I finally finished a book I had been reading for fun for a while now, which is a good accomplishment because I have not had much time to read it with all my school work I have to do. Looking into the future, I have a kid on the way that is do in september. I am doing everything I am suppose to be doing on parole, so I will be getting off of it a year early next may. I am looking forward to my favorite passion every fall which is college football. I try to look at everyday in a positive view because it can all be taken away me in a heartbeat.

Term Paper Blog #2

My book "Everybody Wins" by Gary Chapman has a lot of ideas in dealing with our relationships with each other. When I argue with my girlfriend I do look at it as a battle and keeping score. I will say I won that one. In reality nothing gets resolved that way. This is hard to do. Instead of yelling right back at her, I try to listen to her points and keep the noise level down where it is not as loud. I now try to make a disagreement sound like a conversation and not a verbal fight. She is my best friend as well, we get along well. We don't always see eye to eye but using the tools in this book, we are able to workout our problems in a much more civalized fashion.

Personal Journal 4.2

One problem in my life that I try to avoid is making payments on my loan. This problem will take over and ruin my entire day. When I avoid the problem I feel lazy, worthless, and depressed. When I cope with the problem I feel happy, good about myself, and proud. The best way to cope with this problem is to communicate with the people I owe the money to. When I try to avoid them, the negative feelings about the problem really rise up and hit me hard. I can use these actions with a lot of my problems instead of avoiding them. I feel awful about myself when I avoid my problems when I should attack them head on and get it over with.

Personal Journal 3.3

When I start to stress out over school I try to take a ten minute power nap to relax and clear my head a little before I dive into it. I also like to pray to clear my head before a big test or exam. When I start to stress about having a relapse I call my sponser and ask for help. When I start to stress about going back to prison, I talk to my parents and that seems to help a lot. When I start to stress out about work I deal with it when I get off by watching TV. When I start to stress about my baby that is due in september I talk to my girlfriend and that helps a lot.

Personal Journal 2.3

My favorite interests that make me feel alive are for starters running and lifting weights, I love how it makes me feel. I love watching sports, like Georgia Bulldogs football in the fall and the Atlanta Braves in the spring and summer, and if they make it far in October. I love browsing through articles of history and thats all kind american history to shows that come on the History Channel that have to do with conspiracy theories. Honestly the classes I enjoy the most in school is psychology, I love learning how the brain works and why us as humans do certain things and the process it takes. But I could talk sports all day I love taking sports trivia test online. When I was a child I was enthusiastic about baseball, I ate, drank, and slept baseball. I pushed myself very hard.

Personal Journal 2.2

I can remember even as a kid I have always wanted to help people, I even would take the fall for my friends mistakes at times. As I got older I started making a lot of mistakes and I want to show people how I learned from those mistakes. If someone gave me an award I would want it to be for saving someone's life. The top reason I get out of bed every morning is for my family and that is what makes life worth living. The best thing that could ever happen to me is to get my degree and use it in a career that makes me happy. If I was about to die I would regret not seeing the world and visiting places and cultures in other countries. I could sum up my dreams to have a family of my own and to be able to provide for them doing what I love.

personal journal 2.1

The peson who knows me the best is my dad, he is my hero and has been a big influence in my life. My dream in life is to be a psychologist so I can help people at a young age and to have my own practice one day. In my practice I would want to provide help for everyone with or without insurance. I would describe myself as a happy person, someone that will go out of my way to help someone, and I'm well liked. What I don't like about myself is how much I have let my parents down in the past. I am good at playing sports, running, and lifting weights. I am not good at organization. I enjoy spending time with my girlfriends and watching TV and movies with her. I don't enjoy smoking, I need to quit. My careers that interest me are psychologist with my own practice, a career in the prison system, and a career in the public/private school system. My purpose in life is to teach kids in a behaviorist perspective and humanist perspective not to make the same mistakes I did.

Term Paper Blog #1

        Ok I have to be honest about this topic, the only reason I chose this book is a classmate I had never met told me it was pretty good. But with that said I am going into this with an open mind and since she told me this she seems to be a smart person, so she will probably be right. The book I chose is Everybody Wins by Gary Chapman. The only other topic I considered was addictions, I went away from that area because the only book on our list was on how to quit smoking. I am sure the points in that book could be used for any habbit not just cigarettes. Similar to how the twelve steps stay the same just whoever is using them subs a word in there depending on the addiction. I am not sure exactly what I was looking for in that area but that book just did not appeal to me. But I am excited about the book I did choose at least the title sounds optimistic and I believe the advice I did get from a classmate about this book will turn out to be good advice.

Personal Journal 1.3 "How Do You See Yourself?"

            How I see myself changes depending sometimes on my mood. I view my intellectual ability as a seven. I grasp concepts usually pretty quick sometimes I do not apply them in the correct way. When I was in high school over ten years ago I was did well in baseball and football. I took baseball very seriously, I not only played for my high school but for a summer team as well. So at the time I would rate my athletic ability at a nine. My creative ablilty is at a five, I can be creative at times especially when I need to make up an excuse for why something did not get done. I see myelf as a "people person" so I would rate my relationships with my close friends as an eight. My sense of humor probably goes over a lot of people's head but for the most part I can be funny, between one and ten I would put it at a six. I am somewhat low key, so even though I get along great with the friends I have, I don't try to make all that many new friends, so my popularity with others is around a six as well. At school and my job when it comes to competition I just do myself and my task at hand so I am not that competitive in those areas, I would put that around a four. I am not big on my self image so I can not give myself a great score on my attractivness to others, I would put it around a five. I have a great relationship with my parents and use the morals they taught me as a kid, in both those areas I rate it as a eight.

First Blog

This is my first blog attempt, I hope I'm doing it right. I see myself as someone that tries to make me people happy and sometimes puts other people before myself. How I see myself is a everyday process, some days I see myself different as other days. I see myself as usually being an understanding person and I try not to judge other people. I really try to stick with that mainly because I have made so many mistakes in my life that I can not. But from all my mistakes I try to learn from them and grow with that process.